Coming direct via a rabbit hole and the yellow brick road, two of fiction’s famous girls meet Saturday, June 11, at Pope Theater for two performances of Dorothy Meets Alice, or, The Wizard of Wonderland.

The one-act play is the base’s entry into this year’s Army Festival of the Arts competition, so all of the cast and crew are either active duty, retired, Department of Defense civilians, or family members of military personnel. The event also marks a return to theatrical productions in Pope Theater after about a decade.

“It’s a wonderful family play,” said Denise Heller, the action offi cer for the project with the Family and Morale Welfare Recreation offi ce, which is producing the show. “In the combination of their stories, there are a lot of good lessons learned for kids about tolerance for other people who are different from you, getting along with other people, not procrastinating and doing your homework.”

The story opens with Judson, played by Sgt. Ben Weathersby, falling asleep before fi nishing a project for school. He awakes to fi nd himself in the Tulgey Wood, borrowed from Lewis Carrol’s “Jabberwocky” poem and used in the play as an in-between place where Wonderland and Oz border. He’s quickly joined by Dorothy, played by Fort Bragg Middle School student Madison Shiffl ett, and Alice, played by Department of Defense civilian Sara Hylla.

The Cowardly Lion, The Tin Man and The Scarecrow are here, too, along with The Mad Hatter, The Dormouse and The White Rabbit. Together, the two sets of characters learn lessons, help each other and Judson, and evade the play’s villains, The Wicked Witch of the West and The Red Queen.

Local theater veterans Joyce Lipe and Grace McGrath steal the show as they portray their parts of the witch (Lipe) and the queen (McGrath) with relish and glee. In the play their characters meet for the first time after being longtime pen pals, but Lipe and McGrath have worked together before in local community theater.

Lipe said she’s excited to help restart a theater program on base, something she was involved with in the past. Even better, her role as the green-faced wicked one is the first that has been more than just rewarding and exhausting.

“This is fun,” Lipe said. “This is the first time in all the years I’ve been acting that it’s been fun. It’s been fun finding her, being wicked but not evil.”

McGrath echoed her sentiments about having a good time on the production.

“The play itself is funny, and then the people we’re working with are a great ensemble,” McGrath said.

Staff Sgt. Ruben Avila-Burns, the director as well as The Mad Hatter, said the play has appeal for adults as well as children. A fi rst-time director, Avila-Burns hopes the play will win awards in the competition and renew the MWR’s theater program.

“It’s kind of stressful, for one, because it’s my first time directing, and for a competition,” he said. “And it’s the first time there’s been a play on Fort Bragg for 10 years so, yeah, no pressure,” he joked at a rehearsal in May.

The director said he hopes for a full house at both performances, which he thinks will help with the competition.

“When you’re on stage you feed off the energy of the audience,” he said. “It makes the show go faster and brings up the energy of the house.”

The show will be judged for competition during the second showing, at 7 p.m. All aspects of the show, from acting to lighting, could win an award. In last year’s entry into the competition, a talent show, one of the participants won second overall for best dance, according to Heller.

For the active duty members of the cast and crew, the competition has more on the line than just bragging rights against other military installations. The annual arts festival is also used as a feeder program for the U.S. Army Soldier Show, which scouts performers and crew members to join its annual traveling entertainment program.

The show runs at 2 and 7 p.m. at the theater, which is located in Building 372 Virgin Street on Pope Army Air Field. Admission is $5, with family four-packs for $15, and children under 5 admitted for free. The show is open to the public, but tickets must be purchased at Leisure Travel Services on base. For more ticket information, call (910) 907-3617.

It is not always easy to find that quiet, peaceful place in the midst of life’s busy-ness. Sure, taking the day off and heading out of town is sometimes out of the question, but a place to catch your breath, calm your inner voice and maybe find some peace and inspiration, that’s not asking too much, is it? No. No, it’s not, and there is a place right off 301 heading to the interstate that is just perfect for such things. It is the Cape Fear Botanical Garden.

It’s 77 acres of serenity, tucked between the Cape Fear River and Cross Creek, and it’s a mere two miles from downtown. It’s been a part of the community since 1989, offering classes and hosting events like Heritage Day and the semi-annual plant sale, providing walking trails and beautiful scenery along with education and inspiration.

Recently the garden had a major upgrade that makes their mission of enrichment, inspiration and enjoyment of nature; the collection, culture and aesthetic display of plants; encouragement of environmental stewardship, conservation, education and research; the preservation of our agricultural heritage; and engagement and involvement of the community that much easier and enjoyable for its visitors.

The Wyatt Visitors Pavilion Complex boasts a brand new gift shop, complete with a revamped selection of updated items for sale, as well as a new café. Feel free to visit either one without having to pay admission to the garden.

“There are unique garden accents, perfect birthday gifts for children, a little apparel, specialty herbs and plants that you can grow in pots,” said Anna Grantonic, assistant director of development and marketing.“

Anything that you might need for your garden that is unique you can find in there. The gift shop is carrying new and different things that people here will be interested in, some regional things as far as what type of plants we offer, there is a whole section on roses, rose t-shirts, rose magnets, things of that nature.”

While you are there, stop and have lunch. Sit on the patio if the weather isn’t too sultry and enjoy a meal prepared by the invisible chef. The café is open 10:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday and noon – 2:30 on Sundays. Or, if lunchtime won’t work come back on Thursday evening. Through the summer, the garden is extending their hours. On Thursdays only, they will be open until 7 p.m. Right there is a little bit of extra time to take a stroll and enjoy the beautiful scenery.

Grantonic was excited to share the news that the garden is nearly finished with a beautiful arbor, complete with a water feature. Work on the butterfly stroll is close to being completed, too.

“Eventually it is going to be a paved path, which will make it more accessible and it is going to feature plants that attract butterfl ies,” said Grantonic. “It is not contrived, it is a natural environment as opposed to a butterfly house where they are not necessarily in their natural environment. There are just going to be plants that attract butterfl ies. So hopefully, when it is in bloom it will be a fun place to see butterfl ies forming around these plants that are irresistible to them.”

Coming in September look for the Big Bugs exhibit. This nationally renowned exhibit has already been to more than 100 botanical gardens through out the country. Artist David Rogers creates huge sculptures made of all natural material depicting a variety of bugs.

“We’ll have those through out the grounds in different areas of the garden for people to walk through,” said Grantonic. “In conjunction with that there will be special tours and special merchandise. It will be here Sept. through Dec. We are very excited about it, we think it is a neat thing, especially for children to get a bugs eye view of things.

Visit the garden website to fi nd out more about their special activities and hours of operation at www.capefearbg.org.

Up & Coming Weekly heard from The Treblemakers recently. Here is what they have to say for themselves and their place in the local music scene.

UCW: Who are the band members and what instruments they play?

TM: Doug Skipper plays guitar and sings vocals, Sean Anderson also plays guitar and sings for us. Bob Quintano is our bass/vocals, while Roger Manning plays the drums.

UCW: Give us a brief history les-son on the band. When and where did you get started?

TM: The Treblemakers band is a diverse group of local musicians from dif-ferent parts of the United States. We all now live along the North Carolina coast in New Hanover, Pender and Brunswick counties. The band formed early in the summer of 2010. We are currently performing regionally and playing a split format of electric blues and early classic surf. We also pepper the sets with a few eclectic songs from other genres. Thus far the format has been very well received! Our two guitar line-up along with a dynamic and rock solid rhythm section pro-vides a powerful, lively sound. As a live band we strive hard to perform dynami-cally and with a lot of energy, but we also manage our volume very well. We also do our part in promoting the band and advertising our shows. So come on out to one of our gigs, meet the band and get ready for some high-energy blues and surf! We know you’re going to dig the many timeless surf classics we perform and our brand of lively electric blues is some of the best you’ll hear!

UCW: How did the band get its name?

TM: Our guitarist Sean Anderson came up with the name. Our “surf sound” is slathered with reverb and treble, hence The Treblemakers.

UCW: How would you define your music?

TM:High energy and fun! It’s fun to play and fun for the patrons to dance party and listen to.

UCW: Who are your favorite bands/influences on your music?

TM:Lawrence Welk, The Ventures, Floyd Cramer, Dick Dale, Minnie Pearl, Link Wray, The Man.

UCW: Do you write your own music and where does that inspiration come from?

TM: We do! Most of The Treblemaker originals are rooted in old school re-verb saturated surf, spaghetti western sound tracks and spy movie music.

UCW:If you only had two words to describe your band what would they be?

TM: Electric Americana! (That’s our band slogan btw.)

UCW: What are your hopes/goals for the future of your band?

TM: Our immediate goal is to continue providing high-energy top-notch and fun gigs regionally. We plan to record an original album in the very near future comprised of well written Surf & Instro style music.

UCW: Where do you see the band five years, 10 years from now?

TM:Five years from now we will be THE Surf/Instro band in North Carolina! 10 years from now who knows, but we’d love to tour Japan or Denmark?!

UCW: Where can Fayetteville music lovers check you in the near future?

TM:July 16 (Saturday) @ The Black Cat Lounge, 2918 Fort Bragg Rd, Fayetteville, N.C., and online at www.reverbnation.com/thetreblemakerssurfandblues and www.facebook.com/pages/The-Treblemakers/174913405862136.

Here is my list, compiled about 10 years ago of the most important events in 20th Century North Carolina. It is a good time to reassess, but I am sticking with what I wrote back then.

The election of 1900. The white supremacy Democratic Party returned to power and Charles Brantley Aycock be-came governor. The adoption of a literacy requirement for voting (with a “grandfather clause” to protect illiterate whites) assured the Democrats’ victory, effectively froze most blacks out of North Carolina political life for most of the century, and made us a solid one-party state.

The Wright brothers flight in 1903. Maybe the Wright brothers came from Ohio. But they came here. As a result we define ourselves as “first in-flight.”

The creation of the State Highway Commission in 1921 under “Good Roads” Governor Cameron Morrison.

The establishment of the Duke Endowment in 1924. The philanthropy of James Buchanan Duke assured the national prominence of Duke University and set the pattern for a rich philanthropic tradition in North Carolina.

The textile strikes in Gastonia in 1929.

The publication of Thomas Wolfe’s Look Homeward Angel in 1929.

The 1931 consolidation of the campuses of North Carolina State, Women’s College, and the University of North Carolina under one governing board and presi-dent, leading ultimately to the unified administration of all public higher education under the UNC system beginning in 1971.

The founding of the Institute of Government in Chapel Hill in 1931. Later a model for similar institutions in other states, it fostered a tradition of professional-ism and integrity for public officials.

The state’s assumption of primary responsibility for the funding of public schools in the early 1930’s.

The development of outdoor drama by Paul Green, beginning with The Lost Colony in Manteo in 1937. Thousands of North Carolinians learned their most re-membered history lessons in outdoor theatres in places like Manteo, Cherokee, and Boone

.The rise of Billy Graham in 1949. After his successful crusade in Los Angeles, North Carolina made Graham its “patron saint.”

The Willis Smith-Frank Graham U.S. Senate race in 1950. Political leaders representing many different traditions cut their teeth and defined their viewpoints and their commitments to participation in public life. Terry Sanford, Jesse Helms, Robert Morgan, I. Beverly Lake, Sr., John Sanders, and many other important figures in North Carolina political life took im-portant roles in this campaign.

The creation of the Community College System in 1957. The January 1958 rout of the Ku Klux Klan by the Lumbee Indians. This event marked the beginning of the end for the Klan as a serious participant in North Carolina public life.

The founding of the Research Triangle Park in about 1959.

The Greensboro sit-ins at Woolworth’s in February 1960.

The election of Governor Terry Sanford in 1960.

The end of the Dixie Classic basketball tournament in 1961.

The 1963 Speaker Ban Law.

The Charlotte busing decision (Swann v. Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education) upheld by the Supreme Court in 1971.

The 1972 elections. The election of Jesse Helms to the U.S Senate and of Jim Holshouser as the first Republican governor in the 20th Century ended 70 years of almost total Democratic political dominance. But it also began the era of Democrat Jim Hunt, who was elected Lt. Governor.

The 1984 Senate race between Jim Hunt and Jesse Helms.

The 1989 “coup d’etat” led by Joseph Mavretic in the North Carolina House Representatives, ending the speakership of Liston Ramsey.

The selection of Dan Blue as the first African American speaker of the House of Representatives in 1991.

The merger of NationsBank and Bank of America in 1998. Bank of America’s (and, for a time, Wachovia/First Union’s) home offices in Charlotte made the state one of the country’s largest banking centers.

After Republican House and Senate leaders announced a state budget deal May 31, Gov. Beverly Perdue again began to huff and puff about what she saw as numer-ous flaws with the measure, which reorganizes state government, cuts taxes, limits regulation and authorizes $19.7 billion for next year’s general fund.

Will the legislative structure that House Speaker Thom Tillis and Senate Leader Phil Berger built stand up to an expected gust of veto wind? It all depends on their choice of building materials — the promised support of the five Democrats needed to override Perdue’s veto of the measure in the house.

If the political promises of Reps. Jim Crawford, Bill Owens, Dewey Hill, Bill Brisson, and Tim Spear prove to be made of brick, the budget deal will stand.

There’s solid evidence for the brick theory. Gov. Perdue’s closest ally among the five, Owens, told the Associated Press that Republican leaders kept their promises in the new budget plan and so he’s support it. To go back on their word now, after conducting lengthy negotiations with House leaders, would reflect bad faith. Owens and his fellow conservative Democrats would take a big credibility hit.

On the other hand, Perdue and liberal activists weren’t a bit mollified by the latest version of the GOP budget, which includes more education spending and fewer controversial cuts than previous versions. They still describe it in apocalyp-tic terms, presumably for political effect (though some may actually believe their hy-perbolic claims). Their hope is the Owens and company have made pledges of straw that the governor can blow in with a few more huffs and puffs.

The truth is that the new budget deal deserves neither strident denunciation nor enthusiastic celebration. It is simply a compromise between the two starting positions. When Gov. Perdue released her budget plan earlier this year, it called for $19.9 billion in general fund spending next year. The house and senate offered a counterproposal of between $19.1 billion and $19.2 billion (not counting some $200 million that was only shifted from the highway fund to the general fund in the two legislative plans, and thus shouldn’t be included in any comparison to the Perdue budget).

Compared against the original general fund baseline of $20.8 billion for FY 2011-12, Perdue’s proposal was an average cut of about 4 percent. The Republicans proposed an 8 percent cut. The new deal works out to about 6 percent.

Yes, you are reading that right. The debate will now be over 2 percent of the General Fund, which is itself only a part of a total state budget for the coming fiscal year of about $50 billion, when transportation, federal, and other funds are taken into account. Apocalypse Now? Try Apocalypse Not.

Are there provisions in the new budget that Democrats don’t like? Of course there are. It’s a state budget drawn up by Republican majorities for the first time in more than a century. Did anyone really expect a different outcome?

Try as they might, Democrats aren’t going to be able to undo the results of last fall’s election through gubernato-rial vetoes. If Perdue somehow manages to blow the North Carolina House down over this budget deal, there’s a very real possibility of disruption in state operations, employment, and contracts after the fiscal year ends on June 30.

She’s fooling herself if she thinks such a result will im-prove her political standing. This is not a Raleigh replay of the Washington shutdown drama of 1995-96, when Bill Clinton was able to reverse an initial slide in his popularity after the federal shutdown by shifting the blame to Newt Gingrich. Bev Perdue is no Bill Clinton, and Thom Tillis and Phil Berger bear no resemblance to Gingrich. They won’t be con-venient foils for her. They are largely unknown to the general public.

The Republicans know this. So do Bill Owens, Jim Crawford, and their colleagues. I suppose some-one on Gov. Perdue’s staff knows it, too, but have neglected to tell her yet.

Photo: The new budget deal deserves neither strident denunciation nor enthusiastic celebration. It is simply a compromise between the two starting positions.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides  (Rated PG-13 )  Three Stars

Gore Verbinski passes the director’s chair to Rob Marshall in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (a bloated 137 min-utes, but still the shortest of the four Pirates films). Not that it does anything to make the franchise interesting or watchable. Really, the whole series is completely beside the point and always has been. While I have been forced to watch the films, I have never managed to get through one of them in a single sitting, mostly because there is nothing there to hold my attention besides seemingly endless sword-fights. In any case, after 600 cumulative minutes of watching Johnny Depp stagger around wearing eyeliner the only really memorable bits are the sharp pointy things and Kiera Knightly and Penelope Cruz being way too skinny. It’s not so much that the writers and directors are doing anything wrong, more that they don’t really manage to do anything right.

After some preliminaries to introduce random Spaniards, Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) intervenes in the trial of his former first mate Joshamee Gibbs (Kevin McNally). Gibbs tells him that a Jack impersonator is recruit-ing a crew to search for the Fountain of Youth, but before they can figure out how to handle that Sparrow is kidnapped and bought to King George II (Richard Griffiths).

Why the King needs Jack when he could just follow the random Spaniards or steal the map to the Fountain of Youth is puzzling. After all, Sparrow is a pirate, and isn’t piracy illegal? Apparently not illegal enough, because in walks yet another pirate, albeit a reformed one … Captain Hector Barbarossa (Geoffrey Rush). Barbarossa fills in the audience on why he has a peg leg, which involves the story of how he lost Jack’s precious ship, The Black Pearl. Expository mission accomplished, Sparrow escapes, which makes one wonder why this scene exists at all. During the painfully repetitious escape scene, Jack is rescued by his father Captain Teague (Keith Richards), who issues a fairly vague warning before disappearing.

Turns out that his father has brought him into the same pub as the imposter, a woman from his past named Angelica (Cruz). Her character is poorly written, poorly acted, and serves no real narrative purpose. She is pretending to be him for some reason never fully ex-plained, in order to hire a crew for Blackbeard (Ian McShane).

Jack manages to join Blackbeard’s crew and plans to sail The Queen Anne’s Revenge to the Fountain of Youth. He decides the ship would get there much faster with him in charge, and he doesn’t even believe that Blackbeard is on the ship anyway, so he foments some insurrection. That blows up in his face because it turns out that not only is Blackbeard hiding in his state room, he also has voodoo powers. (Sure, why not?) and can control the ship riggings with his magic sword. Hmm. It seems that could have used some backstory, but, you know, whatever. Blackbeard decides not to kill Sparrow, but he needs someone to kill so he picks out a red shirt from the crew and kills him instead. Released during the attempted mutiny is a captured priest (Sam Claflin) who objects to pirates... being pirates, basically.

Even though the Spaniards have a huge lead, the English sight them at sea but somehow The Queen Anne’s Revenge beats them to the mermaids. Oh yeah. There are mermaids. But wait! Not just pretty Peter Pan Disney style mermaids! These mermaids are vampires! Ok, that’s pretty cool. The pirates need a mermaid for the ritual at the Fountain of Youth, and they also need two chalices from the ship of Ponce de Leon. Blackbeard sends Sparrow off alone to retrieve the chalices, since pirates are generally so trustworthy. The film limps to an unsatisfy-ingly obvious conclusion, but if you’re willing to sit through the credits, there is a bonus scene.

Beauty Does Not Last, Stupid Does

Several years ago, I was enthralled by Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Blink, which deals with how we make most of our decisions both small and momentous — usually very quickly and instinctively.

Now I am captivated by Lisa Bloom’s Think, which makes the case that too many Americans, almost exclusively young women, are so taken in by our society’s celebrity culture that we are experiencing an intellectual decline bordering in some instances on actual ignorance. Bloom, an attorney and television reporter, clearly knows of what she speaks.

As a longtime advocate for young women and the mother of one, I have long been distressed about the shallowness of this aspect of our culture; a culture in which many young women and some older ones as well are more interested in how their jeans fi t across their backsides than in their educations.

A recent Oxygen Media survey found that 25 percent of young American women would rather be named America’s Next Top Model than be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, and 23 percent would rather lose their ability to read than lose their figures.

I was recently so appalled by a television clip of two American charmers, neither of whom could identify any of the three branches of our government or knew in which city more than 100 people had died during a tornado the week before, that I knew I had to see what Bloom had to say.

She makes a compelling case that this is not funny, that this is a real problem. She laments the situation, and then offers some advice on how to get our brains back on track.

First, let’s take a look at the issue for American women as Bloom describes it:

“We are excelling in education at every level but likewise obsessing over celebrity lifestyles and tabloid media, leaving many of us unable to name a single branch of government — but nearly all of us can name at least one Kardashian.

“We are outperforming our male counterparts in employment in urban areas for the first time in history, yet spending more time and money on our appearances, including electing life-endangering plastic surgery in record breaking numbers.

“In a culture that continually rewards beauty over brains, it’s no wonder that straight-A high school girls believe ‘It’s more important to be hot than smart’ as they giggle into television cameras that they don’t know how many sides a triangle has, nor in which country Mexico City is located.”

Bloom explores the issue in all its stiletto, spray-tanned, Brangelina detail, and then she offers solutions beginning in a well-titled chapter, “Reclaiming the Brains God Gave Ya.”

It is full of common sense tidbits for getting control of your life such as giving yourself some free time just for yourself and allowing your children to be bored or unhappy from time to time. As for fashion, she notes that plaids will always be in style in the fall and sundresses always work in the summer, so no need to read every publication dealing with such matters.

Most importantly to me, Bloom says read constantly, widely and well, quoting the Chinese proverb, “Those who do not read are no better off than those who cannot.”
Like Oprah, but even better, Bloom gives us a reading list beginning with Half the Sky, a Pulitzer Prize winner which details the lives of women all over the world who struggle daily for food for themselves and their families and for the basic human rights American women cannot imagine not having. These women would be flabbergasted that high heels might be more interesting to anyone than voting.

Bloom’s reading suggestions reflect her mandate of reading widely and well and include serious non-fiction works, novels both light and weighty, and just for fun reads. She also recommends quality time with friends and family and building a strong network of women friends who become one’s safety net. This has certainly been true in my own life.

Think puts into words what the lives of many American women of our time have become, and readable as it is, it is an important work. If I could, I would put this book into the hands of every young woman I could find.

Jill Conner Browne, the Jackson, Mississippi Southern Belle who wrote the Sweet Potato Queen series, recognized this issue with American women as well, and I paraphrase her pithy assessment.

Beauty, lovely as it may be, does not last. Stupid does. Fortunately, so does smart.

Photo: Author Lisa Bloom says the obsession over celebrity lifestyles leaves many unable to name a branch of government, but at least one of the Kardashians.

“From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world.”

–Saint Arnold of Metz, The patron Saint of Brewers

On Saturday, June 4, Fayetteville lovers of beer and the blues will get a chance to indulge themselves, as the Cape Fear Regional Theatre brings the 8th Annual Blues and Brews Festival downtown.

The event, which was fi rst held down by the river at Campbellton Landing, now calls Festival Park home. Each year the theatre brings some of the best brewers and beers from around the southeast for one afternoon. For much of that time, veteran CFRT performer Cassandra Vallery has been at the helm of the event. She has seen the festival grow each year and expects this year’s Blues & Brews Festival to be better than ever.

“We are bringing more than 19 of the best brewers from around the southeast to Fayetteville,” said Vallery. “We also have some of our great local distributors who are going to bring the beers that they represent so that people will have a great variety of beers to sample.”

Each of the breweries will bring a variety of their beers to the festival, which usually showcases around 50 different individual beers. Each ticket gives the attendee a 6 ounce souvenir tasting glass to use throughout the afternoon. As beer connoisseurs work their way around the festival grounds, they will have the opportunity to sample the beer and talk with the brewers about them

.Some of the brewers who will be on hand are:

Duck-Rabbit Craft Brewery, a Farmville, N.C., based brewery that specializes in dark beers. The brewery opened in August of 2004, and has been involved with the festival since its inception. According to the brewery’s website, the brewers “specialize in beautiful, delicious, full flavored dark beers.”

Some of the brewery’s offering are: an amber ale that is a medium bodied beer with a lovely tawny copper or bronze color. This brew emphasizes malt complexity with layered caramel malt flavors; a brown ale that is an American brown ale brewed with loads of hops from start to finish and a flowery aroma; and a porter that features a pronounced flavor of roasted grains reminiscent of dark chocolate.

Lone Rider Brewing Company, a Raleigh-based brewery, touts itself a brewing “ales for outlaws.”

Offerings include: Shotgun Betty, which is a German-style Hefeweizen wheat beer with a rich banana-clove nose and refreshing dry finish; Peacemaker, a west coast-style American Pale Ale with a unique and bountiful hope aroma with a well-balanced bitterness; and Sweet Josie a complex American brown beer that has a nice hop bitterness with a generous amount of chocolate and aromatic malts.

Kinston-based Mother Earth Brewing will also be at the festival. The brewery puts “fresh hops and malts” and “a lot of heart and imagination into every Mother Earth bottle.” Offerings include Endless River, which is a clean, crisp beer, Kolsch offers a very slight fruity flavor and aroma. It is light gold in color, with a delicate head; Weeping Willow Wit, which offers low hop bitterness and pours very hazy, with a light gold color. It has a bitter orange peel and fresh coriander that adds zest and depth; Sisters of the Moon that is made with American hops. It is light copper in color and has an intense hop aroma and strong hop bitterness.

Fayetteville’s own breweries Huske Hardware House and the Mash House will also be on hand to offer some of your favorite local brews. Other breweries include Carolina Brewery, Big Boss, Brooklyn Brewery and Natty Greene’s Brewing Company.

In addition to the beer, there will also be a wide variety of food vendors on hand including Huske Hardware, Two Brothers Grilling, YumYum Chicken, and vendors selling pizza, hot dogs and other beer-friendly foods.

While you sip and eat, you can also listen to a great line-up of blues musicians, many of who call Fayetteville home.

“It is a very laid back atmosphere,” said Vallery. “Each year we get people out who love beer, love good music and love to have a good time.”

While children are welcome at the event, Vallery said that there will not be any children’s activities during the festival.

There are four levels of tickets:

The VIP Ticket is $35 and gives patrons an hour of private beer pour before the gates open. Each VIP ticket holder will also be able to enter the VIP tent and eat a picnic lunch provided by Huske Hardware.

The gate opens at 5 p.m. for other ticket-holders. Tickets are $25. There is also a non-drinking ticket for designated drivers and others who don’t like beer but would like to enjoy the afternoon. That ticket is $15. There is also a children’s ticket, which is $10.

“All of the money goes to the CFRT to support our annual productions,” said Vallery. “This is our biggest fundraiser of the year.”

The event runs from 5-10 p.m. Volunteers are needed, and all VIP tickets must be purchased before the day of the event. For tickets and more information, visit the website at www.cfrt.org.

All America Three-peat

I was not involved with Fayetteville’s All-America City designation in the ‘90s however; I was part of the Fayetteville delegation in Atlanta in 2001 when we won this prestigious recognition and award.

It was an awesome experience and I remember vividly the excitement, enthusiasm and overwhelming sense of pride, promise and accomplishment we all had.

Everyone was proud to hail from Fayetteville, N.C. It was a “wow!” experience. However, something very strange happened immediately following the win. Something no one expected, could explain or justify. In the short time it took us to travel home from Atlanta, the enthusiasm for what we had accomplished had all but dissipated. Vanished.

There were no bold headlines or breaking news stories about Fayetteville’s second All-America City designation. There were no parades or celebrations. There were no bumper stickers, signs or bridges or water towers painted with the distinguishable red, white and blue AAC logo. Matter of fact, one of my most cherished items is a gift from the city of a beautifully designed lapel pin commemorating the accomplishment.

Hmmmmm? What happened? Why the silence? What happened to the enthusiasm and excitement and why did Fayetteville fail to capitalize on this great opportunity? We may never know but, it was extremely bizarre and no secret that very little marketing was done to tout our AAC accomplishment and great, great city.

Fast forward to 2011 and here we are again poised for greatness as one of the nation’s 20 fi nalist coming down the home stretch in a race for national recognition as an All-America City. Well, biased as I am, I feel we will win and I applaud those individuals who took the initiative to assemble the information and submit the application. I also like the fact that the price tag of this endeavor includes an $80,000 contingency to advertise, market and promote the honor. Yeah!

Unfortunately, there is a veil of negativity and grumblings and concerns about how this entire process has been handled coming from some city offi cials, residents and businesses. The roots of all being that it was done in secrecy and exclusion and unfortunately this always breeds contempt and mistrust.

It is our hope that now that this sentiment is known, those in charge of the event make a positive move to correct the perception or misconception. After all, Fayetteville belongs to “all” its citizens. And since they were the ones ultimately responsible for the accomplishments listed on the application they should be at the table involved and ready to support the effort. Excluding them would be like honoring a restaurant for its fi ne cuisine and never mentioning the chef.

In conclusion, let’s go for it! Full steam ahead. But let’s do it together. We are the best city in the nation and we deserve this award. However, like 2001 in Atlanta, a victory in Kansas City will only stay in Kansas City unless we bring it home in our hearts.

Thanks for reading Up & Coming Weekly.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) You don’t have to be great to sell your work. You just have to do something that others want. Popularity and fi ancial success go hand in hand. But this week you may discover that financial success is not your ultimate goal.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) You prefer to talk and behave in the ways you are used to — it’s comfortable. But you’re also willing to try new phrases and mannerisms and hang out with different people. Your experimental mood will allow you to sample many perspectives.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21) You’ll have a posi-tive experience with someone, which makes you think you like the person a great deal. Maybe you do. Or maybe it’s more about what you are doing than with whom you are doing it and it all gets mixed into the same happy feeling.

CANCER (June 22-July 22) Understanding the needs of another takes time and attention. It also helps to have an attitude of non-judgment and the ability to resist jumping to conclusions. You will gain comprehensive knowledge of another person’s needs and will know how to meet them.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) There are those who mistake you for another, through no fault of your own. Their history makes them see you in a particular way and attribute qualities to you that you may not possess. Your job is to gently educate these misguided souls by acting as your most authentic self.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) There will be friendly invaders who shake up your personal system of law and order. The disruption is just what you needed to get the excitement and creative energy flowing through your world again. However, it is still a bit unsettling. You’ll be making adjustments as you go.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) You will tell the future for a friend. Your objectivity allows you to readily see where things are headed. When it comes to your own scene, you are usually too wrapped up in it to know what is around the bend.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21)You may get the looming feeling that you’re aimlessly drifting. Mostly this is due to low energy in general. You probably need more sleep or are cranky because you’ve been working so hard. You can rest and relax your way into an improved headspace.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You know how much to reveal about yourself and what to hold back. Pat yourself on the back for this and a hundred other things about yourself that you take for granted. When you stop and think about it — and you should — you’re pretty awesome.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) You could spend hours learning about how to accom-plish a task without ever getting the practical experience necessary to actually do the job. So when faced with the choice between a textbook, which can only give you theoretical knowledge, and hands-on experience, choose the latter and you’ll succeed.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You’re funny and humble; it’s true. You’re also being watched by people who can promote you and help you get where you want to go in life. That’s why self-deprecating humor can hurt you these days.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You will be in a position to decipher a message. Keep in mind that this is probably a very simple or even primitive message, so don’t over-think it. Use your powers of empathy — one of your super-strengths.

It was a dark time in the history of North Carolina education.Grossly underfunded public schools struggled just to keep the doors open. Tens of thousands of teachers lost their jobs, while tens of thousands of neglected students simply wandered out of their schools to form the core of a new socio-ed-ucational underclass. Ignorance bred unemployment, civil unrest, and widespread book-burnings — although perhaps North Carolinians were just trying to keep warm by burning discarded textbooks.

Let’s shine a light on that dark time: 1998.

In that year, a Democratic governor and legislature approved a budget that spent an average of about $8,700 per student (in today’s dollars) on North Carolina elementary and secondary education.

What was the result? Did public education experience “generational damage,” as Gov. Beverly Perdue might have put it? Indeed, as a member of the state senate at the time, Perdue helped put the education budget together. Did she offer any ominous words of warning about the coming educational apocalypse?

Of course not. To spend $8,700 per student in state, local, and federal dol-lars was to make a significant investment in public schools. It represented a 16 percent increase in education funding from just five years before, after adjusting for inflation and enrollment growth. And $8,700 was far more than the average per-pupil spending of North Carolina’s charter or private schools.As it happens, $8,700 per pupil is a low-ball estimate of how much money North Carolina would spend on its public schools if the House Republican budget were to become law. Reportedly the Senate budget will allocate a somewhat-higher amount.

Yes, that would represent a real decline from a peak of about $9,500 in 2007-08. But $8,700 per pupil remains a sizable sum. Anyone who claims that it repre-sents the end of public education as we know must explain how North Carolina’s public schools survived 1998, when the real funding level was about the same.

The problem with North Carolina’s education system is not a lack of funding. It is a lack of productivity. With nearly 20 percent more funding than public schools spent in the mid-1990s, do today’s public schools perform that much better? Not even close. While the state’s math scores have slightly exceeded the national average since the late 1990s, our reading scores and graduation rates remain substandard.

Perdue and her allies argue that Republicans should renege on their 2010 campaign promise and extend the sales-tax hike now scheduled to expire in July. Democrats point to recent polls showing public support for the sales tax if it saves public schools from massive cuts.

This is an old, old story. Most voters have no idea how much government al-ready spends on public schools. Because virtually everyone thinks that educating the next generation should be a high fiscal priority, poll respondents frequently re-spond to simplistic questions about taxes and education in ways that the education establishment welcomes.

But when pollsters go beyond simplistic questions to probe what voters really think about the tradeoff between education budgets and taxes, the results are sig-nificantly different.

For example, when Harvard University’s Program on Education Policy and Governance conducted its nationwide survey on education issues last year, it first asked voters if they favored an increase in “government funding for public schools in your district.” Nearly two-thirds of respondents said yes. Then respondents were told how much money their public schools currently spent per pupil, and asked again. Fewer than a third still said they favored more funding.

Similarly, a new Civitas Institute poll shows that when North Carolina voters are told how much the extended sales-tax hike would cost, they express overwhelm-ing opposition.

If North Carolina voters knew that their public schools spent about $9,000 per student, it is highly unlikely that most would pay hundreds of millions of dollars in sales taxes to keep the figure from falling to $8,700.

That’s why the education establishment, furiously spinning reality in an attempt to pocket more of the taxpayers’ money, avoids any mention of budgetary specifics. Public ignorance is in their interest.

But what about North Carolina airports?How do our major airports and associated metropolitan areas fit into the concepts for the future of the world’s mega airport cities discussed in the new book, Aerotropolis: The Way We’ll Live Next by UNC-Chapel Hill’s John D. Kasarda and Greg Lindsay? Does any one of our “airport cities” have the potential to be a real “aerotropolis”?

In an earlier column about this book, I promised to try to respond to these questions.

Aerotropolis is a word that Kasarda popularized. It describes an airport-city where the airport is hub of a surrounding urban area. The urban area provides nearly “frictionless” connectivity for the airport’s passengers and freight. The urban area’s business, manu-facturing, and brainpower élites thrive on the convenient and speedy global connectivity the airport provides.

Several North Carolina airports have some of the attributes of an aerotropolis.

Charlotte stands out in passenger boarding and ranks as one of the world’s major airports in this category. It is a major hub. Some people in Charlotte assert that this major hub status costs them money because tickets cost more than at non-hub airports.

But, as Kasarda explains, the time saved is valuable in a just-in-time world, more valuable than the extra money spent on tickets. Businessmen can leave Charlotte in the morning, have face-to-face meetings with clients during the day, and get home in time to sleep in their own beds. Close to downtown, the airport is minutes from the major offices. The city’s transportation network makes it conve-nient for business travelers.

If Charlotte had a stronger freight operation, one that was coordinated with close-by manufacturers and distributors, some people might begin to refer to the city and its airport as an aerotropolis.

Piedmont Triad (Greensboro Winston-Salem High Point) is not even close to Charlotte in passenger boardings, but it already has a much stronger freight operation than Charlotte’s, and it is growing, as FedEx’s opera-tion expands. Kasarda points out that Piedmont Triad is located at a transportation “sweet spot” right in the middle of a network of interstate highways.

The Global TransPark (GTP) in Kinston is, on paper, an ideal aerotropolis with planned room for nearby just-in-time manufac-turing and related business. But just because you build it does not mean that they will come. GTP has lacked the priceless and essential interstate access like that serving Piedmont Triad.

The success of the Research Triangle Park inspired the GTP effort. Kasarda was the idea man. Governor Jim Martin provided the initial political muscle. Quoted in the new book he says, “North Carolina has had success with radical ideas when they were able to hold off the critics long enough to get on their feet…When I heard Kasarda’s idea, I thought it would be the next one.”

Comparing the Global TransPark to the success of RTP, the new book ex-plains, “But if one venue in the area has the hallmarks of an aerotropolis, it is Research Triangle Park. What distinguished the two, Kasarda understood belat-edly, is that the latter was blessed with both highways and growing cities around it (not to mention flights across the country only ten minutes away). RTP may be an economic engine, but its cogs are able to sleep in their own beds at night.”

The strong Raleigh-Durham (RDU) airport’s close relationship with RTP serves both entities in an aerotropolis-type relationship.

No North Carolina airport city is, by itself, an aerotropolis. But if we could combine in one location the Global TransPark plans, the re-search and related operations that surround RDU, the business-es and talented people of Charlotte, and the sweet spot location of Piedmont Triad, we would have an aerotropolis that would compete with any in the world.

Although I am not a doctor, I was in the medical field at one point of my life. So I feel good about my diagnosis and prognosis for this article.

My friend Rick and I met some friends at Natural Bridge, Va., for a rally hosted by Morton’s BMW. Nestled north of Roanoke between the Blue Ridge Parkway and I-81 this place was load-ed with riding adventure. As we were getting ready to leave for that day’s ride another rider asked to join us. I can’t remem-ber his name but for the sake of this article I will call him KLIM because he was wearing KLIM protective gear.

KLIM was wired: high-tech clothes, safety equipment and high-tech ac-cessories. Between his GPS and his high-definition camera he was busy with the gadgets.

As we rode, KLIM was in front of me. KLIM was constantly playing with his toys. As we approached a hard right corner his head was down and he didn’t see it coming. He was heading straight into the guardrail. KLIM looked up and grabbed brakes! I really think that his ABS saved him. He was already across the on-coming lane and into the gravel when he stopped inches from the rail.

He shook it off and got back on the road. When we stopped for a break I asked him what had happened? He said that he was trying to turn his camera on and was looking at his GPS.

At that point I diagnosed him with E.A.D.H.D.

E.A.D.H.D. is Electronic Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This happens when you put your head down into an electronic device and you men-tally remove yourself from your surroundings.

I suffer from E.A.D.H.D. myself. I am surrounded by electronics and infor-mation devices on my bike. I have my GPS with built-in MP3 player, a SPOT (satellite transponder), camera, roll chart and map case on my tank bag. I use to have my phone and GPS tethered via Bluetooth to my helmet. However, after much thought I’ve moved away from the Bluetooth helmet configuration because I just couldn’t get past the idea of plugging up my helmet every night.

We have become a society that craves information. We text, email, leave messages, Face Book, we take pictures and share them and on and on and on.

As we met up with our friends we went to eat dinner. It had been a year since we see each other. As we sat down to eat our phones came flying out. As I looked around we all had our faces down into our Smartphones.

The next night I asked Rick if he was going out to eat and he said “No.” because we had brought camping food. I said “Let’s go, we don’t see these guys that often,” and he replied “Why? You guys just sit around and play with your phones.”

After watching KLIM’s life flash before my eyes I thought about the safe-ty and the distractions and dangers that electronics can bring to riding.

My friend John Ross told me once that the best way to wreck is to turn on a camera. I believe that is true. Like any ham in front of a camera a mo-torcycle rider will ride harder, faster, and do more foolish things to get our moment of glory.

So is there a cure for E.A.D.H.D? Yes, there is. Don’t play with things you don’t have to when you are riding. Make your devices convenient and ergonomically to use, work and control. Know your surroundings. Pull over and stop your bike. If you must take your eyes off the road, slow down and think ahead.

So next time you are communicating with anything other than the road then pull your head out of your rear-end and put your eyes back on the road.

Ride Safe!

Photo: So, next time you are communicating with anything other than the road then pull your head out of your rear-end and put your eyes back on the road.

Bridesmaids (Rated PG-13)  4 Stars

So, Director Paul Feig sure has done a whole lot of television … and pretty good television, at that (The Office, Weeds, Arrested Development, and even Freaks and Geeks). Clearly he’s got that awkward yet touching in-teraction thing down. You know, that thing where otherwise likeable charac-ters say or do stupid things that result in long silences and tragicomic disasters … like when Michael Scott wore a woman’s suit to Dunder-Mifflin, or when Nancy Botwin tries to make decisions more complicated then what flavor syrup to put in her latte.

It does seem a little bit odd that star/co-writer Kristin Wiig would go with a male director when there are so many talented female romantic com-edy directors. Whoops … time for an aside. Once I eliminated the direc-tors who specialize in the various film niches (Independent, Drama, etc.), and once I discount Catherine Hardwicke because Twilightwas only unintentionally hilarious, there are only about three or four female directors who do successful mainstream romantic comedies. Penny Marshall and Amy Heckerling haven’t done anything awesome in about 10 years, and Nora Ephron is super irritating for a variety of reasons. So, there’s probably a feminist message there about female directors avoiding romantic comedies because it is exactly the genre that our society would expect female directors to focus on, or how Hollywood is sexist, but this is a movie review and not a critical film essay, so moving on now.

Bridesmaids(125 minutes) made me laugh, but was also vaguely depress-ing. I tend to be one of those “don’t call me a ‘chick’” chicks, and seeing a cel-ebration of everything I reject about chickness is a bit hard to enjoy. There’s fe-male competition and lavish spending on useless dresses that only serve to make most women feel fat and unattractive. Not to mention the materialism inherent in most weddings, this particular movie first emphasizes the poverty of Annie (Kristin Wiig) and then does not deal in any way with how she manages to af-ford the expenses associated with the dresses, engagement party, bachelorette party, etc. I make a decent income and I would skip a wedding before buying an $800 bridesmaid gown! Insanity!

Plus, I can’t quite figure why Annie’s best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) has developed the relationship that drives most of the central conflict. Lillian intro-duces Annie to her new close friend, Helen Harris (Rose Byrne) at the engage-ment party, but throughout the movie Helen is selfish, manipulative, snobbish and hated by small children. This relationship is uncomfortably close to exploit-ative, since Lillian apparently allows Helen to provide her with outrageous gifts and pay for most of the pre-wedding parties and entertaining. And this is all done while Lillian’s father (Franklyn Ajaye) laments the high cost of the wedding itself that, even in this day and age, he is apparently footing most of the bill for. But maybe that’s just me, and I am happy to claim complete and total ignorance of this part of chicktown.

The rest of the cast is filled out with some funny B-listers, even if at least two of them seem beside the point, (Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ellie Kemper, Melissa McCarthy) and one Very Cute Cop (Chris O’Dowd with a Euro-whoosit accent that IMDB.com says is Irish). Now, he is meant to serve as the ro-mantic part of the romantic comedy, but as cute as he is, he comes off as alarmingly controlling.

Overall, I suppose this is an above average romantic com-edy that is just funny enough to make up for the backwards sexual politics that underlie the script.

Summer has arrived! For those of you not from North Carolina, you may be wondering how we know that summer is here? Answer: the heat! Each year it amazes me how much shorter spring seems to be — you know, the mornings when you wake up and it’s a brisk 70 degrees, birds are chirping and the smell of fresh cut grass is in the air? I feel like spring used to last for a few months, say March through the end of May at least, but not anymore. Now we wake up in the morn-ings to a sweltering 92 degree heat, the sweetly singing birds have traded places with bothersome “no-see-‘em’s” and mosquitos (don’t worry, they’re coming any day now); and the grass, once misted with morn-ing dew, is now laced with the moistness of humidity. Ahhh … summer.

Some of you may think it sounds as if I don’t like summer. Nonsense. As a child in school I used to beg for the beginning of June! That last school bell would ring and there I’d go, beach towel in hand, headed for any pool I could catch sight of to practice my back flip from the diving board (which by the way I wouldn’t do now if someone paid me). Back then, summer meant no more classes, no more teachers, no more cafeteria food, no more structure. Instead, the almost 90 days before me meant sleeping in, popsicles and ice cream, riding in my dad’s convert-ible and pretty much just being quite lazy.

The Fayetteville Young Professionals is taking this summer to really bring out the “young” in our title as well by enjoying a small summer break. We know that many of our members and potential members will be hitting the beaches or the golf courses on the weekends; taking family vacations and really embracing a less structured life-style we’d like to blame on summer. So … FYP too will take the attitude of becoming a little less structured throughout June and July. After all, everyone needs a small break sometimes. Instead of forcing our members to dress in their business attire while attending Professional Development Luncheons, and fancy social events, our monthly calendar is going to be “easy breezy.”

Join us over the next couple of months for informal meet-ups every other week starting with Friday, June 3 at 7:30 p.m. on the It’z Entertainment City patio to enjoy an evening with Liquid Pleasure, and no, I’m not referring to cocktails. It’z will host this popular East Coast band. Join other FYP members as we do a little networking and a lot of “chillin’ out!”

You’ll have a second chance to put on your favorite flip-flops and meet-up on Thursday, June 16 at Blue Moon Café and Fayetteville After 5 at Festival Park. FYP members will meet at Blue Moon around 5:30 p.m. for cocktails and then head down together to Festival Park for Fayetteville After 5 for some relaxation on the lawn and some great music by the Café Mars band.

And not to worry, for those of you who still like to be a little productive during the summer months, FYP has been asked to provide volunteers for the Fayetteville Cares Boots & Booties Baby Shower (presents are provided to 1,000 military mom-mies-to-be) on June 25 at the Crown Expo Center. If you would like to help FYP give back to our community, please contact Michele Macumber at: volunteer@fayettevillecares.org and she’ll get you signed right up!

We will start back in August with our full-time event schedule as well as kick-off the year with our famous Annual Membership Party (AMP)! We can’t tell you where or quite when it will be but we know it’s going to be fabulous and we will want all of you to attend! Be on the lookout later this summer for more details!

Make sure to check back with our Up & Coming Weekly article next month, as well as our FYP website (www.fayyp.org) to get the latest happening with FYP.

Photo: The Fayetteville Young Professionals is taking this summer to really bring out the “young” in our title as well by enjoying a small summer break.

Lunchtime is often full of work, and lacks the well-deserved break we all need. Many of us are habitually too busy during lunch and often fall victim to the same boring sitting-at-the-desk type of situation. This is where The Museum of The Cape Fear comes in. They have decided to have four various 15 minute lunchtime talks at the museum, where offi ce addicts like me and you can take a break and learn something while enjoying your brown bagged lunch. Moreover, the museum will provide water or other beverages to accompany the lunch that you bring. The Munch on History: A Lunchtime Lecture begins on May 31st, extending out to June 14th, July 12th and August 16th at 12:15 p.m. respectively.

Each lunchtime lecture is specifi cally dedicated to important facts and interesting historical features that have something to do with Fayetteville, or North Carolina. On May 31, the museum’s Historic Interpreter Mr. Jim Brisson talked about the controversial topic of William Woods Holden & the Kirk-Holden War. Historically, William Woods Holden was the 2nd governor to be impeached. The fact that Mr. Holden was recently pardoned by the N.C. Senate at the N.C. State Capitol makes this topic even more interesting.

The topic of conversation on June 14, honors our National Flag Day. Chris Woodson, who is the education coordinator for Arsenal Park will discuss and share important information on our nation’s different fl ags and their history. Woodson will also discuss various United States fl ags and will enlighten the attendees on how they developed into something that symbolizes patriotism.

On July 12, Leisa Greathouse, curator of education from The Museum of the Cape Fear will present fi ve historical facts about Fayetteville that has noteworthy ties to our nation’s past. Fayetteville is always welcoming newcomers, making this day very important, as they can understand and appreciate Fayetteville and discover fascinating facts about the city.

The final lunchtime history lecture will be on August 16, where 1897 Poe House education coordinator Heidi Bleazey will enlighten visitors with some Victorian etiquette and Poe House history.

Everyone is welcome to learn from the Victorian era, where etiquette was at its prime. It was when women never extended her hand to shake that of a man and where women dressed up to avoid attention from men. These interesting facts are sure to add a touch of humor to anyone’s lunch break.

The Museum of the Cape Fear has always been successful in providing a great source of knowledge and entertainment. Munch On History: A Lunchtime Lecture is indeed an ideal event to attend once a month beginning from May until August, at 12:15 p.m. According to Greathouse, “Even if your lunch is to grab-a-burger-on-the-go, bring it to the museum where you can sit, relax, eat, and listen,” said Greathouse. “We hope that the presentations become entertaining through questions and discussions by the audience.” She also encourages individuals who attend to return to work and share the knowledge the next day with their co-workers. In addition, of course, the admission is free!

The Museum of the Cape Fear Historical Complex is located, 801 Arsenal Avenue, Fayetteville, NC 28345. Call 910-4861330 for more information or go to www.museumofthecapefear.ncdcr.gov.

Each season Gilbert Theater treats the community to plays that run the gamut in theme and content. So far, this year’s works have included The Rocky Horror Show, A Christmas Carol, Dateline Greensboro and Long Day’s Journey into the Night. Next in the line up is Headsets, written by William Missouri Downs and directed by Gilbert Theater’s own Elysa Lenczyk. The play opens June 2, and runs Thursday to Sunday through June 19.

Once a stage manager at Gilbert Theater, Lenczyk brings some insight and perspective to the play that only a techie can offer and appreciate.

“I was the stage manager for four years at Gilbert. I ran the lights, I did the sound … there is just so much in a small theater that needs to be done. Volunteers weren’t there to do it, so it kind of fell to me,” said Lenczyk. “So, when the play got offered to me, being that it takes place in a small light booth in a theater, it was comical. I think the fact that I know the whole perspective of that end of the theater is one of the things that also appealed to me about directing this play.”

A farce about technical theatre, Headsets takes place in the light booth of the Chicago-Ensemble-Repertory-Group-Theatre-Project on the final night of the company’s doomed production of Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

Ross and his stepfather Charlie are the main characters. Like Claudius and Hamlet, the two have a lot of issues between them. It is while they are running the light board for the production that they attempt to work on their relationship all the while dealing with problem after problem with the play — and hilarity ensues.

Listen in and find out what really goes on behind the scenes as production and tech-crew headsets buzz with comical banter and snarky comments.

UNC Pembroke student, Rakeem Lawrence plays Ross. Steve Bates, a favorite on the local thespian scene plays Charlie. Also included in the cast are Laura Kannengieszer as Shannon, Chris Brown as Garry Cooper with Schubert/Dick’s voice being played by Paul Wilson.

“Everyone is doing a fabulous job,” said Lenczyk. “I am just thrilled with the cast and I think the community is really going to enjoy this production. Plus, this is the fi rst comedy that Gilbert has done in a while They did Lysistrata, I think, last season and it was an ancient Greek classic. This is a little more mainstream a little bit more relatable for the audience.”

Anyone who has been to a Gilbert Theater production can tell you that they can pack a lot theatrics be it comedic, dramatic or you name it, into an intimate space and they do it with a sense of dedication to the community — to make it a better place.

“With the Gilbert,we use local talent,” said Lenczyk. “I think that is a big part of what makes the productions so special. The community can come out and see their friends and neighbors doing something to bring enjoyment to the community.

Visit www.gilberttheater.com for ticket prices and more information.

The Airborne and Special Operations Museum (ASOM) plays a vital role in the Fayetteville and Cumberland County area. Not only does it allow residents to learn about the history of airborne and special-operations soldiers, it also supports the community through fundraisers.

The ASOM is spearheading another fundraising event — Run for the Legend. Run for the Legend is a 5K/10K race that supports educational programs at the ASOM. This year, on June 4, the ASOM will celebrate the run’s fourth anniversary. The name Run for the Legend is a “statement that reflects how each runner is directly influencing and supporting the legends that are behind each solider.,” according to ASOM.

During the initial run, the race did not raise much money. In year one, the ASOM raised $4,000, in year two $7,000 and in year three $10,000. The goal for this year’s race lies in it’s growth. Each year more runners have participated; growing from 200 runners to the expected 500 runners for this year’s race. The ASOM is also hoping the increase in runners will increase the amount of money raised. MJ Soffe, the Fayetteville New Car and Truck Dealer Association, Fayetteville Orthopedics & Sports Medicine, Booz Allen Hamilton and JSO (Joint Special Operations) have all become sponsors of the race.

Events like Run for the Legend enable the ASOM to offer more to the public as well as to maintain current programming. Money received by the foundation is “used in direct support of the museum. The money helps in the cost of mailings of education information to more than 600 schools in the surrounding areas; the money is also used to fund events, exhibits, the volunteer program budget and the many other facets of the museum operations.”

Programs like these support the community by educating residents on the history of the airborne and special-operations community, and it brings more visitors to the museum and the City of Fayetteville and Cumberland County.

Run for the Legend is a sure way to support Fayetteville and the ASOM. The race will start at the ASOM at 8 a.m. The ASOMF Run for the Legend is sanctioned by USA Track & Field (USATF). The USATF certified course begins and ends on the Hay Street side of the museum. Atlantic Coast Timing Systems will time the participants using the ChampionChip system. The top three men and women in each race receive trophies.

The top three men and women in their age group will receive medals.

Online registration is available through www.active.com, which will also accept donations. Registration is also available at the museum. Participants may turn in their forms and entry fee in the museum gift shop, or mail them to the museum. Registration is $25, with a discounted rate for groups of five runners or more. Strollers, wagons and well behaved, leashed dogs are permitted, but will be asked to start in the back.

Anyone interested in registering for the race or volunteering is encouraged to contact Lauren Campbell at grants@asomf.org or (910) 643-2778.

Photo: Run for the Legend is a 5K/10K race that supports educational programs at the ASOM.

Whether you know you know them or not, most people know and have been touched in some way or another by the music of the Hank Williams. This became very apparent to me as I sat beside my 10-year-old son at Campbellton Landing on Friday night, and listened as he sang along with a number of the songs performed by the Cape Fear Regional Theatre cast of Hank Williams: Lost Highway.

We have an ecclectic taste in music in our house, but I can’t say we own any Hank CDs, but somehow through television, movies and the radio, my child had been touched by the genius that is Hank. As I looked around the Sol Rose Amphitheatre, it was easy to see he wasn’t alone. Feet were tapping, lips were moving and members of the audience were being drawn into the memory of a musical legend.

Director Gina Stewar and her mult-talented cast have brought the legend, the mystique and the pain of Hank Williams to life.

They tell each moment with such passion, that you feel you are at his funeral. You watch as his friends and family try to save him from himself. You see his search for redemption.

Because Hank is music, the show is all about the music — and let me tell you, it is good. T

hroughout the performance the cast performs more than 20 of Williams’ songs. Much of the weight of this show rest on the shoulders of Cliff Hale, a Clayton computer programmer. This is Hale’s first time performing in a theatrical show, but you couldn’t tell. He came across like an old pro.

When you go down to see the show, and I know you will, the first thing you’ll notice is Hale’s striking resemblence to Williams, the second is his voice. Close your eyes and listen. You’ll swear it’s Hank Williams singing.

Hale is backed up by the talented local bluegrass band The Parsons, comprised of Cumberland County residents Jon and Caroline Parsons and Jerome Hawkes.They do a stellar job with the music and as Williams’ band.

CFRT veterans Libby McNeill Seymour, Jonathan Flom, Rebekah Wilson MacCredie and Nicki Hart round out the local cast. They all turned in stellar performances,which is expected from this talented group.

Bringing the Blues to the show as Charlotte singer/poet Roger Davis who played Tee-Tot, the man who taught Williams how to feel his music.

You have one more week to enjoy this show, you’re going to want to make sure you get down to the river and take it in. It’s a don’t miss.

For show times and tickets, visit www.cfrt.org.

On June 14, the U.S. Army is celebrating its 236th birthday! Fort Bragg is celebrating a little earlier with the running of the 15th Annual Fort Bragg Army Birthday 10-Miler on June 3.

The race starts at 6:30 a.m. at Sports USA and finishes back at Sports USA after trekking through a “rolling and challenging” course on Fort Bragg. Participants are to report to the Sports USA/Hedrick Stadium area by 6 a.m. Following 6 a.m., area accessibility will be more difficult due to road closures. Pre-race instructions will be given at 6:20 a.m.

Seven water points and two water sprays will be located along the route. Five of those water points will provide Gatorade drink. Portable restroom facilities will also be available near each water point.

Pets, bicycles, headphones, and rollerblades will not be permitted on the course. Walkers may be required to use sidewalks in order to facilitate a more prompt reopening of streets.

Entries will be accepted through June 2 at 5 p.m. No registrations will be taken on the day of the race. On May 26 - 27 and May 31 - June 2, complete the entry form and submit it, in person, to Funk Physical Fitness Center located at Building C-2015 on Gruber Road near Longstreet Road. Entries will be accepted at Funk PFC, from 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. on these dates. On June 1, hours for registration will be extended until 7 p.m.

For more information, visit www.fortbraggmwr.com/sportsrec/tenmiler/raceinfo.htm.

As baseball season approaches, the Swampdogs are busier than ever. Sure, they play a great game of baseball, but this local team offers so much more than nine innings and summertime refreshments.

When you buy a ticket to one of their games, you are uniting with an organization that is a powerhouse of goodwill and generosity in this community. Not only do they give to the community, but they’ve supplied the major league teams with a few players, too. The season opens on May 31, with the first home game on June 1.

Just like last year, fans can expect something different at every game. A fan favorite in these tough economic times is the family four pack, which is four tickets and four meals for $30. There aren’t many places where you can bring the family out for an evening of entertainment and a meal for 30 bucks.

Every half-inning of every home game, there is an on-fi eld promotion — so there is fan involvement on the fi eld throughout the whole game. There is no lull in the action, whether it is the pie eating contest which gets two kids just covered in pie, or the toilet seat toss, which is like a big game of horse shoes, where folks are throwing toilet seats at a plunger to win a prize. The SwampDogs work hard to make sure the fans are actively engaged

.Jeremy Aagard, the SwampDogs assistant general manager, likens it to the Super Bowlwhen “you go to the bathroom during the game so you can see the commercials,” only at a SwampDogs game, “You get up to go to the bathroom during the game because you want to see the on-fi eld promotions.”

To add to the excitement, every home game has a different theme. Some of the highlights are Striking Out Cancer night by Cape Fear Valley Health System in which the players wear one-of-a-kind pink jerseys that are auctioned off at the end of the game. All the proceeds go to The Friends of Cancer Center. There is also the 7th Annual Bobblehead giveaway presented by Lumbee River EMC. The first 500 fans to the gate get a bobblehead of the SwampDogs’ mascot Fungo.

“There are people who collect these and can’t wait till next year to get the newest one,” said Aagard. “We’ve got 15 giveaways this season. You can come to the ballpark every home game and more than half of those nights you will probably come home with something as a give-away item.”

Summertime St. Paddy’s Day is back, too. Watch as the team turns the park green and gives all the players Irishsurnames for the night. There is Irish music and a pint glass giveaway. 

On Father’s Day, the first 500 dads into the park will get a Bar-b-que gift set. The SwampDogs see it as a cool way tocome hang out with dad at the ball park. 

The Sandhills Senior High School Showcase gives graduated seniors from area high schools their last chance to play in front of the hometown crowd. The MVP of that game gets a $1000 scholarship, too. It is a night when the SwampDogs are actually away, but it is a really neat experience for the students who just graduated to play on a semi-pro fi eld.

According to Aagard, one of the season high points is the Coastal Plain League (CPL) All-Star game. He says it is not unusual for CPL players to make it to the major leagues. This year, the SwampDogs are hosting the event on July 17 and 18.

“We just had another SwampDog who was a CPL All-Star in ‘05 make his major league debut — Andy Dirks. I think the biggest thing is that fans can come to the Swamp and there is a good chance they will see a future major leaguer — if not more than one — which is really, really cool to bring to Fayetteville,” said Aagard, adding that “According to Doug Peters, the president of Chamber of Commerce, the CPL All-star game could represent a $2 million economic impact on Fayetteville and the surrounding area. We are bringing people from all across the country to see their kids play. They’ll be spending money on hotel rooms, restaurants, gas stations — there is going to be a huge infl ux in the two-day span.”

There are plenty of other events this season that Aagard is excited about sharing with the fans, like the fireworks shows. Look for another one to be added to this year’s calendar. That brings the number of games that end in a fireworks display up to four over the course of the season. The shows will take place on June 4, July 3, July 18 and July 30.

“Last year we had more than 5,500 people here on July 3. I’m telling you it is the best fi reworks extravaganza of the summer,” said Aagard. “It is phenomenal … it is just unbelievable that we continue to draw such large crowds. We really appreciate everyone coming out every year as it has continued to grow.

“We put all our effort into making sure we put on a good show and that the families are taken care of, and I guess it is just a bonus that we always have a good baseball game going on at the same time,” he added.

When it comes down to it, the SwampDogs are very serious about providing fantastic family-friendly entertainment, and making the community a better place while they do it.

For more information, visit www.goswampdogs.com.

United States soldiers have left many footprints across the globe, so this Memorial Day weekend the Fayetteville Downtown Alliance is hoping families will take a few booted steps of their own in support of the armed forces at the inaugural Walk a Mile in Their Boots.

The walk, which is the newest addition to the Fayetteville Downtown Alliance’s 11th Annual Glory Days celebration, will kick-off Monday’s festival celebration at 9:15 a.m. The walk will leave from Festival Park and travel down Hay Street, past the Airborne and Special Operations Museum and the Glory Days Field of Honor before returning to the park.

“I’m hoping to see kids coming in wearing their mom or their dad’s boots, or their grandparents’ boots,” said Suzy Hrabovsky, who chairs the Field of Honor. “To see them walk in someone else’s boots, someone that they loved, to show that homage to them. I have this vision of all these kids, maybe even wearing their jackets.”

As well as wearing boots, walkers are encouraged to bring a flag or banner in honor of a soldier.

“We would like people to make a fl ag, or anything that would signify who they’re supporting,” Hrabovsky said. 

While the festival is free, the walk costs $25, which also gets you an event T-shirt. Registration opens at 9 a.m., or ahead of time online at www.glorydaysnc.com.

Net proceeds from the walk will benefi t the United Service Organizations Center, or USO, on Fort Bragg, which is raising money for a soldier center at the Fayetteville Regional Airport.

After the walk, Festival Park will march into full stride with a wide array of family-friendly entertainment, artists, musicians, children’s activities and food. Look for the iconic Uncle Sam on stilts while he passes out American fl ags; gravity-defying aerial artists; a classic car cruise-in; and a vintage military equipment and gear exhibit. Among the musical acts on the bill are the Fayetteville Symphony Brass Quartet and Summerfield.

FDA President Chris Villa said the group has especially expanded the children’s area this year.

“We’ve got Rolling Video (a bus full of video games), jump houses, a kids’ train, games, the SwampDogs and pony rides,” Villa said. “It’s certainly a way to spend the day with family and friends … to celebrate where you live, where you’re coming from, and where your family has been: Serving in the military, representing our country, and keeping us safe. What a way to pay homage and have fun at the same time. And, it’s free!”

Memorial Ceremony

At 11 a.m., take a break from the festivities to spend some quiet time of reflection to honor our fallen soldiers. The city’s annual Memorial Day Ceremony will be held at Freedom Memorial Park, and will feature a wreath ceremony, guest speaker and the sounding of TAPS. For more information, email dtalbot@juno.com.

Friday Movie

Memorial Day is the last day of the Glory Days festivities, which actually start on Friday with a free outdoor showing of Iron Man 2 in Festival Park. The movie starts at dusk, and is shown in partnership with Operation Ceasefi re, which will be giving out free popcorn and drinks to movie goers. At the movie, people can also purchase a LibertyLuminary from The Pilot Club, which will hold a vigil for fallen soldiers that night at the park. The women’s organization will sell the luminaries for $5, and money raised will go toward the club’s efforts with traumatic brain injuries and brain disorders.

Field of Honor

This is the fourth year that the FDA and the ASOM have hosted the Field of Honor as part of Glory Days. The orderly field of more than 600 3-by-5-foot U.S. flags stands like a patriotic grove in the parade field near the museum entrance, each bearing a yellow ribbon remembering someone special. The flags went up May 6, and will remain until June 18, after which sponsors can collect or donate their flags.

Cary resident Christopher Dunn was admiring the flags outside the museum on May 13 as part of a fieldtrip with his 9-year-old son, Anthony.

“This is my first time at the museum,” Dunn said. “I did notice (the field) when we were coming in, and I thought it was an awesome experience to see all the U.S. flags and the patriotism that represents. It makes you feel proud when you see the number of flags that represent the soldiers that have fought for our freedom.”

Jim Ryder, ASOM’s director of marketing and public relations, said the museum staff loves having the Field of Honor display each year

“It’s an honor to have them here,” Ryder said. “Everyone who comes to the museum comments on them.”

Ryder said the flags should look even better next year with the addition of the N.C. State Veterans Park, which is scheduled to open on July 4

Sponsoring a flag costs $25 per honoree, and net proceeds are given to the museum and nonprofit organization Fayetteville Cares, which provides civilian support to military families and soldiers.

Last year, the field’s proceeds contributed $4,000 to the ASOM, and $3,000 to Fayetteville Cares, according Villa. Sponsoring a flag can also be done through the Glory Days website.

“I expect to sell out by Memorial Day weekend,” Hrabovsky said. “In the past we’ve usually sold out within the month.

Photo: Downtown is set to celebrate Memorial Day with many activities.

My weapon of choice — a garden hoe! One stands “ready” on the back porch of the farm cabin should a slithering visitor not be a friendly.Snakes in the country are a simple reality and are left alone to pursue rodents and other critters. The exception to the rule are copperheads and water moccasins that can take issue with you and then turn aggressive. I can remember killing a water moccasin with my bare hands (i.e. bare hands on the steering wheel as I repeatedly backed over the snake) that instead of crawling off insistently moved in to strike at the Jeep tires.

Living on a farm equips you with some basic “field” rules:

1. Stomp if you are in the brush;

2. That is not your cell phone you hear “buzzing;”

3. If there is a piece of insulation or plywood lying in the field lift it carefully;

4. Don’t poke your head in the pump house on hot summer days; and 5. Don’t leave doors open, and roll your car windows up — especially on rainy days.

As city dwellers, we don’t often anticipate an “up-close and personal contact” experience with poisonous snakes in our backyards but that is exactly what happened to the 8-year-old son of Brian Watson, the Farm Center’s manager.

Last weekend his two boys were outside playing in their Haymount neighborhood when Brian’s 10-year-old came running in to report a copperhead snake in the neighbor’s yard. The Watson family is outdoor “savvy” and the kids knew how to identify a poisonous snake. But by the time Brian got outside the 8-year-old had been struck.

A tourniquet was applied and Brian rushed his son to Highsmith to discover anti-venom was not available at the facility. Staff directed him to Cape Fear Valley where the critical anti-venom was administered. (Take note: Not all medical facilities have snake anti-venom available).

The bad news is Brian’s son reacted to the anti-venom and ended up in the ICU. The good news is that at last report he was snacking on gummy bears and is a hero to his classmates who are anxiously awaiting the tales of his adventures with his return to school.

I shared the copperhead story with a technician at my dentist’s office who in turned told me a heartbreaking story about losing a beloved (and large) dog that had put itself between a snake and her 3-year-old daughter. She also lives in Haymount and advised there is an infestation of snakes near the little creeks that wind through the subdivisions.

It is spring and the snakes are crawling. Heads up as you start to water your lawns or walk near the lakes. The tornadoes have created a lot of debris and I have noticed as I walk through the neighborhood, snakes slithering back into the shelter of logs and branches that are piled along the street for removal. Just because we live in the city limits doesn’t mean we don’t share landscape with traditionally country cousins.

But also remember it is not true that the only good snake is a dead snake. Native Americans considered snakes the guardians of the Earth and in the chain of life they have a role in protecting us fragile humans.

Just keep your eyes open, respect territory and if something with a triangular shaped head starts to become menacing have a good long handled hoe at “the ready.”

I’ve never thought of myself as the kind of guy that would name things. As I look around here I guess I do. I have names for a lot of my stuff. For example, my guitars have names. Named mostly after the people influlenc-ing me at the time I acquired them.

Over the years, I’ve named my motorcycles. They are usually named based on the feel or pur-pose of the bike.

My BMW R1200GS is named ‘Rocinante’. I used this name based on the classic novel The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha by the Spanish author Miguel de Cervantes. Rocinante was Don Quixote’s horse. He was an old, unattractive horse that got him around. My GS is very unattractive, not old but not as fast as I would like and it gets me around. Don Quixote’s Rocinante took him on some real and some imaginary adventures. My GS takes me on my adventures. Some are the kind of trips that most people would not take a bike on. All bikes take us on adventures in one way or the other.

Like Don Quixote I have an active imagination. When I’m not playing in the real world of riding I am dreaming about riding. I think about the back trails of the Appalachian and Rocky Mountains to the floral canopies of South America to the Alps and to the North Pole. Up and down and all around this place we call Earth.

For years I have tried to come up with a decent name for my GPS. I feel like my GPS deserves its own name. It has its own character and I rely on it so much I feel lonely when I ride without it.

My GPS is about 98 percent correct and the other percent is just wrong. When I hear “Recalculating, make a U-turn” or any other nonsense on a road to nowhere it drives me crazy. Like life, many of my adventures have started down the wrong road. In those moments of let down I start telling it what to do. I come up with clever phrases like “No, you turn here, I’ll wait” or “I think my GPS needs its own GPS.”

I think my GPS has character. It has a voice. The voice is called Jill. The truth is all electronics have their own behavior and they are based on the behaviors their programmers. We live in such an automated and electronic world that we never think about that stuff. We take it for granted that all devices work perfectly and we never think past the screen of a device. If you are riding and your GPS sends you down the wrong road it is because the information is either calculated wrong or entered incorrectly. The map data and calculations are all based on mathematical formulas.

For years I’ve been trying to come up with a name to condemn the 2 percent of errors. I could never find a name that properly fit this device until a few weeks ago. 

While driving my friends Joel and Brandi to lunch, I was a little unfa-miliar with the area and Brandi spoke up and said “turn left here.” I joked about how she was like my backseat GPS. She said it was the quickest way to where we were going. I had been that way a few times before and remem-bered my GPS had me taking a different route.

As we traveled down the little country road, I realized that Brandi was correct about the route. At that point I realized I was looking for a name to make fun of the the incorrect data of my GPS and not the correct data. At that point I decided I would find a name for the 98 percent good of my GPS. Thus my GPS now has a name, ‘Brandi’!

If there is a topic that you would like to discuss you can contact me at motorcycle4fun@aol.com. RIDE SAFE!

Photo: My BMW R1200GS is named ‘Rocinante’. I used this name based on the classic novel The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha. Rocinante was Don Quixote’s horse. 

Thor  (Rated PG-13)  • Three Stars

Director Kenneth Branagh reportedly conceptu-alized Thor (114 minutes) as a comic book twist on Shakespeare’s Henry V, which makes sense, because if it’s not Shakespearean in some way, Branagh can’t be bothered. Much like most of Shakespeare (and most comic books), the women in Thor take a secondary role and/or stand around ineffectually while dudes take care of business. Wait a min-ute … there are tons of proactive women in Shakespeare and in comic books, too! I guess Kenneth Branagh is a sex-ist. Too bad.

The film opens at what turns out to be narrative halfway point by introducing some of the main players before laying out the backstory. Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), who is a nurse in the original comic, ends up as an astrophysicist here. While it is nice to showcase a talented female astrophysicist, it does tend to take away from your positive message when said talented female astrophysicist isn’t doing much science. It’s like casting Mila Kunis as the tough leather babe in Max Payne … you can say she’s tough, but that doesn’t make me believe she is tough. Her assistant Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings) isn’t much help. She is a great chick sidekick, she handles a Taser, and she gets most of the funny lines, but she doesn’t do much to advance women in the sciences.

Luckily for the ladies, Jane’s mentor Dr. Erik Selvig (conveniently familiar with both S.H.I.E.L.D. and Norse mythology) is there to tell the womenfolk what to do when their stereotypically bad driving, aggravated by their womanly bickering, causes them to run over the God of Thunder (Chris Hemsworth). After this introduction to the mortal characters, the movie reverses back to tell the story of how Thor ended up in the middle of the New Mexico desert.

Odin the Allfather, King of Asgard (Anthony Hopkins) is fighting the Frost Giants of Jotunheim, led by Laufey (Colm Feore). Odin wins the war and claims the source of their magically delicious frost powers, the Casket of Ancient Winters. Sometime between then and now, Odin had a couple of anklebiters with Frigga (Rene Russo). Just like Cain and Abel, Thor and Loki (Tom Hiddleston) don’t always get along. Their relationship only gets more complex as Odin decides to decree Thor as his heir. Just as he is about to make that official, a couple of the extras from Avatar...whoops, a couple of Frost Giants break into Asgard and try to steal back the Casket of Ancient Winters.

Since the fatal character flaw of Thor is arrogance, he grabs his buddies and arrogantly runs to Jotunheim and lays down some wrath all over the Frost Giants. For those of you keeping track, his bud-dies are the Warriors Three plus One Lady include Volstagg (Ray Stevenson), Fandral (Joshua Dallas), and Hogun (Tadanobu Asano) plus Lady Sif (Jaime Alexander). Or, as a couple of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents prefer, Robin Hood, Jackie Chan, and Xena on their way to the Renaissance Faire.

Odin steps in just in time to save his son from the evildoers only to get supergrumpy and ground him (literally). He evidently isn’t as mad as he appears, since he throws Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor, down to Earth with him. In response, the local folk, apparently grungy drunks who wear tank tops and baseball caps that look very much like Stan Lee, throw a simultaneous barbecue and tractor pull.

The rest of the movie is a mix of S.H.I.E.L.D., fighting, and completely unbelievable romance, followed by an interest-ing after-credits scene fea-turing … wait for it … Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson)!!