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What they do not know CAN hurt them

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Wednesday, 14 May 2025

Written by Margaret Dickson

Human nature includes the urge to give others advice, often unsolicited, about how to conduct their lives, whether we heed our own advice or not. Much of it passes with the breeze, but some registers and sticks with us. Here are some jewels that have stuck with me and guided me in more than a few tricky situations.
From my mother. No matter how smart and/or educated you may believe yourself to be, every person you will ever meet knows something you do not, so pay attention.
From an older cousin on raising children. If you want to raise children who embrace the world with curiosity instead of fear, always say “yes” unless you must say “no.”
From a crusty old journalist. If you have something positive to say to someone, write it to them so they can enjoy your words and share them with others. If your message is negative, say it and get it behind you.
And, from a gentle and wise mother. When I was trying to keep our sons away from He-Man toys, which I believed--and still do--present a false and ridiculous view of manhood. You cannot protect your children from their culture.
I wish the current crop of book banners in the North Carolina General Assembly and in Congress could hear that truth.
As part of a national effort supported by the Trump administration to shield information from students, a bill wending its way through the state legislature would establish a committee composed of both parents and educators to recommend which books and movies should be approved or banned in public and charter schools. Those recommendations would be available for public comment and ultimately approved by the local school board. It proposes civil penalties for schools that do not comply and will be sued.
Such moves are being made all over the country, all labeled as “parental rights” by book banners and “censorship” by opponents. They are efforts to appease a voting base by people who have outside influence in the current political climate.
However one views these book banning efforts, the truth is that we cannot keep our current culture, however toxic it may seem to some Americans, from our children short of keeping all outside influences—books, social media, contact with their peers and other people—out of reach. Today’s parents already know how impossible that has become in the electronic era. The other painful truth is that while some information may be disturbing or painful for students, ignorance of facts can harm them, often profoundly and for a lifetime.
Take sex, a topic both parents and children find difficult to address and one which can derail lives through STDs, unwanted pregnancies, and other difficulties. Ignorance of the facts of life is not bliss for vulnerable young people. Ditto for drugs and other illegal substances. “Just say no” has never been an effective strategy. Young people see others, both their peers and adults, using alcohol and other substances and realize that they can generate pleasurable experiences as well as harm.
Do as I say, not as I do, is not an effective message. Factual information can be.
This is not an academic or political argument. It goes to whether and how we protect our children. Do we do that by withholding information from them or by providing them with accurate information? Better yet, think about your own youth.
Did just say no work or little information work for you? Did ignorance take you down a painful path?
Do you want that for your children?

Big Apple report: NYC is bigger than ever

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Tuesday, 06 May 2025

Written by Pitt Dickey

We recently went on a fact-finding trip to New York City. There are millions of stories in the Big Apple. This is one of them. Seeming like a good idea at the time, we took coach seats on the midnight train to New York.
If you live in Fayetteville, you have probably heard the whistle of the 12:59 a.m. Silver Meteor. It delivers you to Penn Station around lunchtime where a swarm of gypsy taxi drivers each strive to take you on a ride and relieve you of a chunk of money.
Groggy from the red-eye train, we let a fast-talking hustler, who claimed to be an Uber driver, grab our luggage and put us in his vehicle. Poor decision. Pro tip: always use the Uber app. If a stranger comes up to you claiming to be an Uber driver, he is not. Sixty dollars later for a $20 trip, I realized my error. Life goes on.
Our hotel was only a block from Times Square. The desk clerk was a gentleman wearing purple-framed glasses with a long beard festooned with purple flowers and silver stars. Quite impressive. Back in the dark ages of the late 60’s, Times Square was a squalid cesspool of dirt, hookers, thieves, girly shows, porno theaters, and greasy spoons. It was pretty cool. Not so in 2025.
Now it is the Disney version of the Las Vegas strip. It is surprisingly clean, packed with gawking tourists, more giant digital signs than you can shake a cataract at, and stores that would fit in any upscale mall in regular America.
There are few homeless folks visible in Times Square, maybe they are staying in tax-paid hotels. The homeless we did see sported homemade cardboard signs showing sparks of humor. One gentleman had a sign that said “Screw you. Pay me.” (Verb modified as this is a family paper). Another had a sign stating, “Need Money for Weed & Women.”
A third had a sign with the humble brag “Need money for penis reduction surgery.” But mostly it was non-English-speaking tourists craning their necks at the adrenaline-inducing flashing signs.
We traveled with our son Will and two friends from Newton Grove. Arising early, I took the subway to Greenwich Village to Caffe Reggio for a cappuccino and a muffin. The Reggio features the first espresso machine to come to America. Massively impressive, the silver machine is the equivalent of the Blue Origin rocket of its time without the benefit of Katy Perry or Gayle King. A visit to Reggio is highly recommended. We visited the Met Art Museum, Museum of Modern Art, and the Frick Museum.
The Met has world class stuff from Monet, Manet, and Van Gogh. The Modern Art Museum demonstrates Andy Warhol’s quote that “Art is what I can get away with.” My favorite item in the MOMA was a large triangle of hairy Swiss cheese. Hair plugs in a dairy product equals high art. A display of different-sized paper bags was equally entrancing.
Seeking even more culture, we went to three plays: Cabaret, Hades Town, and Oh, Mary! Hades Town, based on a story from Greek Mythology, set somewhere between New Orleans and Hell, was the best.
No trip to New York is complete without a visit to McSorely’s Old Ale House, where Abraham Lincoln used to hang out when he was in town. Your choice is either dark or light ale. The mugs are small, but you get two with each order. The subways are much cleaner than I remembered them being a few years ago. No one tried to push us onto the tracks, which I counted as a plus.
We went on the Mafia Walking tour led by Tony, a retired disabled NYC Police narcotics detective who had grown up in Little Italy. Tony had led a colorful life before entering the police department: running numbers as a child for the Gambino family, doing collection work for bookies as an adult, and having only one felony arrest but no conviction before joining the force. He was very open about his past misdeeds, including holding a debtor by his ankles over the edge of a tall building to convince said debtor to pay up. He paid. Tony was a charming sociopath, which is what most sociopaths usually are.
He was a highly entertaining guide, pointing out various locations where the Mafia had killed or maimed people, had their headquarters, and their favorite restaurants. He discussed what it was like to pretend to be a drug dealer buying wholesale amounts of heroin from seriously bad guys. In a word: Dangerous.
Unfortunately, we had to leave the tour before it ended, thus missing out on a free Cannoli.
The Big Apple is bigger than ever, even without King Kong climbing the Empire State Building.
I give it 5 stars. Go see it.

(Illustration by Pitt Dickey)

Publisher's Pen: City Councils' Mario B gets an A on curfew issue

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Wednesday, 14 May 2025

Written by Bill Bowman

The shooting incidents a few weeks ago that disrupted the Dogwood Festival, Downtown Fayetteville’s most anticipated Springtime event, have triggered a plethora of misguided assumptions and solutions to addressing crime in our community. Fayetteville Mayor Mitch Colvin’s response to this recent shooting incident was to initiate recommendations for a youth curfew, along with other placebo-style regulations, like banning face masks and backpacks on city property and during city-sponsored events (say goodbye to Fourth Fridays & Fayetteville After Five). Soviet style surveillance cameras, license-plate readers, and sophisticated facial recognition technology, and increasing the Crime Stoppers reward to $5,000 will only encourage criminals to snitch on other criminals. Honestly, Colvin’s quick response to target Fayetteville’s youth as the catalyst of this crime crisis is misguided, and makes his rash recommendations resonate more like the foundation of his campaign re-election speech.
Defying reason and common sense, the City Council in their infinite wisdom voted 8 to 2 for Colvin’s citywide youth curfew, with only councilmen Mario Benavente and Deno Hondros voting against it. Mario B articulated his concerns clearly and questioned the curfews' effectiveness, the complex logistics of curfew enforcement, and, more importantly, the negative impact they would have on young people who would be introduced prematurely to the criminal justice system. He also reminded the council that of all the homicides this year in Fayetteville, only one juvenile was arrested for attempted murder, and that an imposed youth curfew would not have deterred any of them.
Mario B was the voice of reason. In the council’s haste to make it look like they are being responsive to the escalating shooting issues, they have failed to consider Fayetteville’s history of rejecting youth curfews in the city for many reasons, especially the negative impact additional community surveillance would have on restricting civil liberties. Ironically, Colvin wants Fayetteville’s curfew ordinance to be modeled after that of Charlotte-Mecklenburg's curfew ordinance. Really? It makes you wonder who at City Hall vetted that program?
Most likely, it was the same people who hired contractor Muhammad Muhammad to build the Fayetteville City Parks & Rec Tennis Complex, and the sidewalks on Rosehill Rd... or the construction company that built the new Fire Station on Bragg Blvd. I don’t mean to be facetious, but it doesn’t take that much to be diligent and prudent when it comes to making decisions that impact the entire community. To my point, Charlotte’s curfew ordinance was adopted in 2011 and is extremely complex and begs the question of how to implement proper and effective enforcement. Even more importantly, is the fact that after 14 years, Charlotte officials readily admit they have no data or concrete evidence that can support the curfew ordinance had any effect on reducing crime. However, the cost of implementing the program is readily available.
Curfew ordinances cannot take the place of parental responsibilities. Parents and adult guardians are responsible for protecting young people from victimization and exposure to criminal activity. Ordinances should promote the safety and welfare of all citizens without violating or restricting their rights or freedoms. Curfews do not reduce crime, and there is little evidence that curfews are even effective in addressing the root causes of juvenile crime. Using the city of Charlotte as a model may be convenient, but I doubt it is prudent. Data available and collected in 2025 indicated that Charlotte has a higher average rate of both violent and property crimes compared to other cities in North Carolina. (Google it.)
City Councilman Mario B’s insights are logical and well thought out. He brings a much-needed thread of common sense, logic, and caution to the consideration of using youth curfews as a means to curb Fayetteville shootings, crime, and overall gun violence.
I’ll conclude by saying the Fayetteville community would benefit greatly if our elected officials handled serious municipal challenges with less pompous grandstanding and emotional knee jerk reactions, and spent more time listening to more concerned citizens. Youth advocate Tony Brown, Fayetteville resident Justin Herbe, and Bishop McNeil, a respected and active Fayetteville community organizer who understands that reducing crime and addressing public safety in Fayetteville cannot come from restricting a young person’s civil liberties or implementing proven failed measures like youth curfews.
Like Bishop McNeil, we feel Fayetteville’s elected officials should direct their attention, money, and efforts to projects and programs that have the potential to eliminate violence and crime, like treating mental illness, affordable housing and job training, and opportunities. Listen to Mario B. Curfews don’t work!
Thank you for reading Up & Coming Weekly, and while you’re here, take a moment to participate in our 28th Annual Best of Fayetteville survey. Your voice and opinion matter to us.

Should Fayetteville's nickname be Fayetteless?

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Tuesday, 06 May 2025

Written by Jim Jones

“I miss coming down here,” my wife said as we headed to downtown Fayetteville for dinner a few weeks ago. I moved back home last year to East Tennessee and returned to spend a couple of days at her mom’s. For years, we enjoyed Pierro’s Italian Bistro for date night. So, we headed there for dinner.
Fayetteville is a town that constantly churns. Politically, Fayetteville, Cumberland County, and Fort Bragg present a complex and dynamic political environment. It is also a place where families are made and where they break, often setting bad examples for kids.
Fayetteville is a city of Yin and Yang. Fayetteville is known as the “All-America City” and the home of some of the bravest heroes on earth. It is the home of Putt-Putt Golf, Golden Corral, and the first franchised Hardee’s restaurant. On the other hand, it is nationally known as “Fayettenam”, “Fatalburg”, and post 9/11 “Fayettestan”, due to its strong military presence and its reputation for high-profile crimes. I know the locals don’t like that reputation, but Fayetteville and Fort Bragg have inherited those three unflattering monikers over the last half-century.
It was a beautiful evening as we sat outside Pierro’s on the patio enjoying our dinner, as we watched Hay Street turn itself into a two-lane spectacle of mayhem. Trucks, cars, motorcycles, and Sling Shots (those three-wheel cars) paraded up and down the street—some with ear-piercing exhaust pipes and music so loud that it would make your head explode. Motorcycles lined up and did wheelies up and down Hay Street.
I looked at my wife, pointed down the sidewalk to the police station, and said, “If the police just rolled a chair out the front door with a radar gun, they would make thousands of dollars a night, and we could have free parking.”
Downtown Fayetteville should be the nicest place on earth, with as much money as has been put into those few blocks. Since the 1990s, city officials have focused on revitalizing downtown. In the mid-90s, the city acquired Rick’s Lounge. The city leadership believed that businesses like Rick’s Lounge were the reasons for the high crime rate and the seedy reputation of the town.
It is hard to find data on whether Fayetteville is better off now than it was back then. That is because the crime methods have changed, but in the end, it just depends on whether you feel safe living here. Lately, gun violence has been highlighted due to the recent shootings at a Cliffdale Road carnival and Fayetteville’s annual Downtown Dogwood Festival, which was held only a couple of blocks away from the police station.
I admit that homelessness is now an epidemic in America, and it plagues some cities more than others. It is hard to go downtown Fayetteville and not be asked for money by a panhandler. I quickly discovered that it is easier to put a few bucks in my pocket for them when I go downtown. But sometimes, I am unsure if I am telling myself that I am helping my fellow man, or if I’m just giving them money to distract them so they will move on. On the other hand, I would much rather give a homeless person money than pay for parking downtown. Our roads have been built with taxpayers’ dollars, but before paid parking was a thing, it hurt everyone in some form or fashion, which also feels like extortion.
I will tell you that when people lack the courage to insist that Fayetteville police enforce something as simple as local traffic laws outside of their building, the police force is reactive, not proactive.
Eventually, these little criminals mature into big criminals, and victims will only breed criminals or more victims.
As we sat on the patio finishing our meal, my wife said, “I was wrong, I do not miss it here”.
As I write this, a news flash just came in saying the Mayor of Fayetteville is calling for a meeting to discuss the violence and the possibility of a curfew. Well, after 26 homicides since January 1st of this year, Fayetteville leadership weighs in, again, with too little, too late. People need to stand up for their community. If the residents of Fayetteville continue to allow their community leaders and elected officials to endorse policies of LESS law, LESS order, LESS enforcement, and LESS accountability, maybe a more appropriate nickname for Fayetteville should be “FayetteLESS”.