Since 2008, when I began my bi-vocational career as a college communication instructor and youth pastor, I have taught and counseled thousands of Gen Z’ers (born between 1997 and 2012). I am also raising two of them (my 16- and 13-year-old sons). To some, these kids appear to be a bunch of whimsical Peter Pans, with shiny device screens for Tinkerbells. However, my time with the members of this oft-misunderstood generation has taught me a few invaluable lessons about the roots of our differences and routes we can take to transcend them.
Complaint #1: They’re so self-righteous and emotionally fragile!
Gen Z’ers have been bolstered by copious childhood affirmations from adults (who often gave everyone a trophy) and fired up by a barrage of increasingly polarized media feeds, so they tend to have lots of passion and little patience for criticism. Therefore, we must carefully navigate conflict with them, always mindful of the wise words from a 17-year-old who recently told me, “Trust snaps like that, for us; and once you lose our trust, you lose us.”
Complaint #2: They are addicted to digital media!
We must remember that these kids are “digital natives” who have been riding the algorithmic waves of online media since they were babies. Many adults haphazardly facilitate this digital dependency to distract them from boredom and depression. A 20-year-old told me recently, “I don’t think we’re feeble minded; we’ve just been conditioned. I think every generation would have responded the same if they had been given access to technology at such an early age.”
Complaint #3: They Have an Aversion to Adulting!
They have survived wars on terror, a pandemic, and opioid epidemic. As a result, death is very real and present to them - which often manifests in either a nihilistic or anxious worldview. So, they often focus on enjoying the moment, but they also tend to be risk averse. My 16-year-old justified his resistance to pursuing his driver’s license by lamenting, “But, Dad, I don’t want to hurt anybody.”
Solutions
I haven’t cracked the code, but I have gathered six tips for helping Gen Z’ers:
1. Stop bemoaning how different they are. (They are sick of hearing it!)
2. Don’t embarrass them. (They are all too aware of the sting of shame through social media.)
3. You must let them figure some stuff out and resist your urge to give them the answer.
4. Acknowledge when they’re right (even when it’s only halfway right). They crave your respect and affirmation.
5. Lean on their expertise in the digital world and thank them for helping you to navigate it.
6. Always be ready to graciously answer their “Why’s”. Gen Z’ers, are the most curious and inquisitive generation on the planet. Don’t be offended by their constant questions and try to praise their refreshingly forthright quest for truth in a chaotic world.
Remember: If you don’t give them answers, somebody else will.