5Did you ever feel like you woke up on the wrong side of the Matrix? Our current year 2024 keeps dropping hints something is happening here, but what it is ain’t exactly clear.
You don’t know what it is, do you Mr. Jones? Just when you think that things can’t get any weirder, they do. Recall the words of the late great philosopher Hunter S. Thompson: “When the going gets weird, the Weird turn pro.” People of Earth: Time to give up your amateur status and turn pro. The photo with this column shows the door to Earth Two. You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond is another dimension- a dimension of sight and sound, a dimension of mind.
We have entered Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass Zone leaving our old pal Earth One behind. We have just crossed over into Earth Two.
Recent weeks have been jam packed with Weirdness. Let us ponder Earth’s recent transformation. The Hopi Native American tribe has a word for what we are experiencing: “Koyaanisqatsi” which in Hopi means “Life out of balance.” The scales are out of whack.
Our first clue was the sudden prominence of the word “Weird” when applied to the Republican candidates for national office. Six months ago, ‘weird’ was a wallflower of a word. You did not hear it very often. It was as unpopular as gluten. Now it is everywhere.
Like Petula once sang, weird was a sign o’ the times. Dick Cheney endorsed Kamala Harris for President. The Fraternal Order of Police endorsed a multiple felon for President.
Yet another school shooting took place. The usual excuses for school shootings were rolled out, too soon to do anything, thoughts and prayers, Second Amendment rights. Guns are people too. Yada Yada. The once proud Boeing company stranded two astronauts in space.
Cumberland County landed a Titanium recycling plant by promising to issue $1.3 billion in bonds through the county’s Industrial Facilities Financing Authority. County taxpayers allegedly will not be liable for the $1.3 billion if the company defaults. Who would be liable for repaying the bonds if default occurs? Don’t ask too many questions.
Sounds like free money. Sounds almost too good to be true. Nah, it's just weird free money.
Over in collegiate gridiron news, the NIL money is flowing like wine. The ACC added two California teams and a Texas team to its roster. Clemson and Florida State want more NIL money and are seeking a divorce from the ACC. It turns out that NIL money ain’t cheap. New dollars must be found. Over at UNC, there is serious talk about replacing the Dean Dome resulting in fewer seats but more luxury boxes to keep up with the Joneses.
The UNC Board of Governors may ultimately consider selling the Old Well, canceling all academic classes, firing the professors, turning the dorms into luxury condos, and putting its lab equipment on EBAY to raise money to pay for better NIL fine young student-athletes in football and basketball for UNC Inc. Carolina may sell naming rights to UNC to some High Tech Billionaire.
How does The University of Zuckerberg at Chapel Hill sound? It is high time to stop wasting money on academics and use those funds for sports betting.
The final ticket punched in the transformation to Earth Two was the warning that Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio were eating the pets of the local people. Never in Earth One history has a candidate for President announced in a televised Presidential Debate that: “They’re eating the dogs—the people that came in ---they’re eating the cats. They’re eating the pets of the people that live there.”
A whirlwind of pushback resulted that his claim was false and likely insane. Mr. Trump then tripled down to add water birds to the list of animal sushi being consumed alleging immigrants are also eating Ohio geese from the parks.
This timely Earth Two warning triggered me to think about what Martin Niemoller once said in a different context. It can be slightly modified to save our pets and waterfowl.
“First they came for the dogs. I did not speak out because I wasn’t a dog. Then they came for the cats, and I did not speak out because I wasn’t a cat. Then they came for the geese, and I did not speak out because I wasn’t a goose. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.” Only you can prevent murder most fowl.
As our buddy Hamlet, the Prince of Denmark said: “The rest is silence.”

(Photo courtesy of Pitt Dickey)

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