Have you ever wondered what Bitcoin is? Where it came from? Where it is going? Is it too late to buy some before it collapses? You have come to the right place. The Brothers Grimm explained it all in their story “The Donkey Cabbage.” No need to pay a broker to obtain Bitcoins. All you need is a Magic Wishing Cloak and willingness to swallow the heart of a bird. Intrigued on how to get rich quickly? Keep reading.
Once upon a time a young man went out into the forest to go hunting. He came across an old woman who was weak and hungry. She asked for spare change which he gave her. In return, she told him to look for a tree with nine birds fussing over a cloak. She said: “Shoot into the middle of the birds. They will drop the cloak and one will fall dead. Cut the bird open and eat its heart. Make a wish and the cloak will take you anywhere. The bird’s heart will create a gold coin under your pillow each night.” The Hunter did so, getting the cloak and a growing pile of gold. (Author’s note: This is where Bitcoin comes from- magic money from a dead bird’s heart.)
When the Hunter had a big pile of coins he decided to see the world. He came on a castle where he met a witch and her beautiful daughter. The witch knew about the heart of gold and wanted it. Naturally, the Hunter became besotted, falling in love with her daughter. The witch made a potion and forced her daughter to get the Hunter to drink it. After drinking it, he became sick, vomited out the bird’s heart, and passed out. The girl washed off the heart and ate it.
Getting daily gold Bitcoins wasn’t enough for the witch. She wanted the Wishing Cloak too. She made her daughter pretend sadness. The Hunter asked her what was wrong. She told him she wished for the jewels on Mount Garnet but it was too far away to get them. The Hunter wrapped both of them in the Wishing Cloak and away they went to Mount Garnet. Unfortunately, the witch put a spell on the Hunter causing him to fall asleep on the mountain. Daughter gathered up a passel of jewels, wrapped herself in the cloak, and wished herself back to the castle. The Hunter woke up alone. He realized he had been betrayed by a woman. This was the only known time a man has ever been fooled by a female.
The Hunter climbed to the top of the mountain. He rode a cloud back to a garden near the castle. There were two kinds of cabbage in the garden, pointy and round. He ate the pointy cabbage and turned into a donkey. He then ate the round cabbage and turned back into himself. He took both cabbages with him and went to the castle. He told the witch the pointy cabbage was delicious. The witch and daughter ate it. Both turned into donkeys. Happy with his revenge, the Hunter gave the donkeys to a miller, conditioned on the miller beating the old donkey 3 times a day and never beating the younger donkey.
The Miller did as he was told. The Hunter went to live in the castle. Eventually, the miller came to the castle with the younger donkey. The old donkey had died and the young donkey wouldn’t work. The Hunter took back the younger donkey and gave her the round cabbage. She turned back into the beautiful girl. She apologized for tricking the Hunter, explaining her Mom made her do it. The Hunter, being still in love with her, forgave her. Men are dolts. She offered to take a magic potion to vomit up the bird heart so the Hunter could eat it to get the Bitcoins for himself. He refused because he wanted to marry her. Once wed, all the coins would be marital property anyway. They got married shortly afterward and lived very happily until they died.
Now you know where Bitcoins come from. A witch’s daughter near the Chinese Garnet Mountain swallowed a bird’s heart to produce the first Bitcoins. Bitcoin alleged “experts” tell a science fairy tale about Bitcoins coming from mining blockchains, whatever that is. Their explanation is hooey. The truth is, Bitcoins are magic. They are created in the Cloud due to herds of witches’ daughters ingesting bird hearts. Bitcoins will only crash if we run out of witches’ daughters. Feel free to invest. Past performance is no guarantee of future results.