Some of you may recall the old Chiffon margarine commercial’s warning that “It is not nice to fool Mother Nature.”
Mother Nature had nothing on the Goddess Circe who was the original liberated woman. Helen Reddy might have been thinking about Circe when she warbled “I am Woman/ Hear me roar!” Today we shall ponder Circe, Greek Mythology’s Lady of the Island.
Circe was the daughter of Helios the Sun God. As an adult Goddess, she rode in Helios’ chariot of the Sun to the island of Aeaea. The island of Aeaea had no consonants in its name because consonants had not yet been invented. Being part Sun God, Circe had flashing sunbeams from her eyes with hair that shoots out fiery rays. It is likely that Circe’s eyes were the inspiration for The Association’s 1967 big hit Windy who “has stormy eyes/ That flash at the sound of lies.”
Circe was an outdoorsy gal who gave her heart too easily. She shows up in Mythology swimming in the sea surrounded by beasts who are part man and part animal. Jason and the Argonauts spot her and seek absolution for a recent murder. Circe slits the throat of a suckling pig.
She dribbles its blood onto Jason and his posse which purifies them of their murderous act. She still doesn’t much cotton to them. Shortly thereafter she orders them off her island.
Meanwhile, Glaucus, a sea God, has fallen for the beautiful mortal Scylla. Unfortunately, Glaucus loves Scylla, but she doesn’t love him. Glaucus is part fish which may account for Scylla’s body shaming of him. Glaucus goes to Circe to ask for Love Potion #9 to make Scylla fall in love with him. Unfortunately, Circe falls in love with Glaucus.
He doesn’t love her back, or even her front for that matter. This makes Circe angry at Scylla. You would not like Circe when she is angry. Circe knows about magic wands and potions. She mixes up a potion which she slips into the pool where Scylla takes her daily bath.
When Scylla gets into the water, the potion turns Scylla into a man-eating monster with a human upper torso but six dog heads on tentacles growing out of her lower body. She is an angry mess.
On another day, Circe ran into King Picus who was out hunting boars. Circe immediately fell in love with Picus who was married to Canens, a sprightly wood nymph.
Picus remained loyal to his wife, rejecting Circe’s romantic overtures. Circe did what any spurned Goddess would do, she turned Picus into a woodpecker. (Author’s note: Picus never played for the Fayetteville Woodpeckers). Canens, grief-stricken at being married to a bird, threw herself like Ophelia into a river and drowned.
Circe enjoyed her ability to transform men into animals. Rumor has it that the ability to turn men into animals remains viable in some lady persons of the female persuasion. Odysseus was on his way home from the Trojan War when he stopped on Circe’s island for supplies. He sent a scouting party onto the island which ended up at Circe’s house.
Her house was surrounded by wild beasts like wolves and lions who were just lounging around while Circe was inside singing. Circe came outside and offered the men wine which had the equivalent of ancient Roofies in it. The wine turned the men into pigs with men’s brains.
Circe put them into her pig sty to keep for an old-fashioned Eastern North Carolina BBQ pig picking. The Scout who had been watching all this occur skedaddled back to Odysseus on his ship to warn him.
Odysseus, while on his way to save his men, ran into Hermes who gave him a magic flower that makes him immune to Circe’s powers. Odysseus pulls a sword on Circe to make her swear not to hurt him and to turn her pigs back into his men. After complying, Circe naturally falls in love with Odysseus. He chills with her for about a year.
Odysseus finally tires of his fling, realizing he misses his wife Penelope. He goes back to Greece but slips back to see Circe several times who becomes the Baby Momma for three of his kids.
What have we learned today? Men are not far removed from being pigs. Pouring alcohol on a problem can always make it worse. Helen Reddy was right when she sang: “Yes, I’ve paid the price/ But look how much I’ve gained/ If I have to, I can face anything/ I am strong/ I am invincible / I am woman.”
Moral: Mess with independent women at your own risk.

(Illustration by Pitt Dickey)